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Headphones Required

by We're Not French

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Comes with:
    21 seamless tracks (you choose the file type)
    Album Lyrics, Credits, and an explanation of why it exists. (PDF)
    Artistic Tracklist CoverArt and Tour Poster (PNG)
    Purchasable with gift card

     

1.
Welcome. You have been chosen to participate in an auditorial experiment. While instructions are given, please adjust the volume to a comfortable yet attentive level. This experiment is designed to stimulate the thoughts and emotions of an individual to obtain a state of transcendence and enlightenment. In order to be successful and provide accurate records of your experience, headphones will be required. speakers will only be used when directed in track 11, and earbuds are strictly prohibited. Isolate one self from all distractions, and keep your ears and mind inside the headphones at all times. It is strongly recommended to play this experiment from beginning to end without pause. You will now be directed to the first test. Begin.
2.
(ethereal noise from the gods)
3.
(robots attempting to make music, and failing)
4.
Ebola 02:40
Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola
5.
(fear) (buzzing noises) (pain and misfortune)
6.
(a panda bear dropping rhymes and telling about the times to a beat)
7.
(i think this song broke during export)
8.
When I was forty, forty-five, when I started really to play the laptop. I definitely wanted to become a Dee Jay. It was rather possible because it was, the dream was so common that I didn't see any chance because I was living in a little town with 200 other Dee Jays. I was base-blasting and when I finally broke away from my office job and became Dee Jay. I thought "Well, I may not have a chance." Because all everyone ever wanted to do is music but not only play music but play other people’s music. At that time, in Germany, in 1942-45, they had already thousands of Dee Jays So I would take my trike and go to a McDonalds, play maybe five minutes I think I had about 2-3 of my own songs, total. I would partially sleep in the McDonalds because I didn't want to trike home and that helped me for about almost twenty years to survive. In the beginning, I wanted to do a mixtape with the sounds of the 2000s, the sounds of the 2010s, of the 1940s, and then have a sound of the future. And I said, "Wait a second, I know the soundgoodizer. Why don't I use the soundgoodizer, which is the only sound of the future?" And I didn't have any idea what to do but I knew I needed a drop so we put a kick on the 4-4 beat which then was synced to the garageband at 128 beats per minute. I knew that it would be the sound of the future but I didn't realize how much impact trap would be. My name is Gord-O George-O, but everybody calls me Carl Pigington. (Motorola Theme) Once you want to free your mind about a concept of harmony and music being listenable, you can do whatever you want. So nobody told me what to do and there was no preconception of what to do. So I used the same four-chords and the same chorus twice. The verse was also repeated, and I was the king of Coachella. (Strings) I definitely wanted to become a Dee Jay.
9.
Matt Zombie 03:15
(fear) (spooks) (screaming)
10.
Lion's Heart 03:48
(text-to-speech trying to enter a singing competition)
11.
Drop the Bass (x3) Plug in your speakers and Drop the Bass (x3) Set the volume to one. Drop the Bass (x3) And once you do that… Drop the Bass (x3) …you better run. Drop the Bass (x3) Plug in your speakers and Drop the Bass (x3) Set the volume to one. Drop the Bass (x3) And once you do that… Drop the Bass (x3) …you better run. Drop the Bass (x3) Plug in your speakers and Drop the Bass (x3) Set the volume to one. Drop the Bass (x3) And once you do that… Drop the Bass (x3) …you better run. 3 2 1 THE BASS (speaker explodes (note: actually not that loud, maybe turn it down a little but it’s more unexpected rather than painful))
12.
(Vietnam flashbacks combined with Smooth Jazz)
13.
Long ago there lived a monster. This monster was Skrillex. On the inside there was the most beautiful angel. A beautiful angel cried dying. Everyone fight the monster. Return, Skrillex. Return. Return.
14.
(in some member’s opinion, this is the most painful to listen to)
15.
(the only song that’s actually good…somewhat) (feel free to dance)
16.
(fast rapping) (faster rapping) Well, that was cancer.
17.
too-laa-roo-laa-too-laa-roo-raa (x2) aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa (repeat indefinitely) (in other member’s opinion, THIS is the most painful to listen to)
18.
(vaporware vibes)
19.
(we were going to remove the microphone noise but we already strung the tracks together and… oh well, obvious quality dip)
20.
(one final breaking of your mind) Thank you for participating in this program. You may now take off your headphones, or replay this audio experiment from the beginning. Failure to take off your headphones after experiment completion will result in penalty of up to 500 dollars, which is much less then what the medical charges will be for your ear drums. Thank you, and have a nice rip HEADPHONE USERS moment. Ta Ta Now. I’m stalling. Please don’t do this. This is your last chance. We specifically avoided doing this kind of joke until the very end. I don’t want there to be blood everywhere. I mean, that’s pretty gross. You’re still here. Okay you asked for it. Five seconds now. beep (x5) (no seriously, listening the last part of this song will actually make your eardrum’s bleed. I’m serious. Take the headphones off. You will hear the 50 db from the other side of the room.)

about

The debut album from the no-hit-blunders named "We're Not French"

credits

released July 13, 2016

Produced by We’re Not French, a "band" that parodies various genres and artists (mostly of electronic music). We’re Not French do NOT own any of the properties/songs/samples listed below under "Rights Reserved", nor are endorsed, permitted, or recognized by these property owners. This album (Headphones Required) is an entirely noncommercial affair, available freely without ability to purchase nor donate to We’re Not French. We’re Not French does not make any profit or funds from Headphones Required, and will never accept any profit or funds. Headphones Required applies under the Fair Use Act.

View a full list of credits for each song here:
werenotfrench.webs.com/Album%20Credits.pdf

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We're Not French France

We’re Not French is a "band" that makes "music" which parodies/pokes fun/mutilates various genres and artists (mostly of electronic or indie alternative music).

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